A Survivor's Accident
by jak3combat
Summary: Trapped in New Orleans, a group of survivors attempt to flee the growing hoards of infected. While stopping at a Safehouse to rest for the night, a Tank takes out the leader of the group. Instead of completely dying, as he expected, he ends up in an entirely new land. Rated T for death, violence, swearing, smoking, and maybe a little booze.
1. Death is Just the Beginning

_Chapter 1: Death…Is Just the Beginning._

Another day, another couple hundred zombies to kill. And another couple miles to travel before nightfall. I sighed as I waited for the other three Survivors I was with to get up already. Taking a sigh, I light up a cigarette and took a deep breath.

_'I could use a beer right about now...'_ I thought, before grunting at the time they were taking.

"Hurry up! Only a few more days and we'll be getting the hell out of here!" I shouted at them, passing the time I spent waiting by sharpening the blade on my katana. Always keep it sharp enough to shave myself with, and after I clean the blood off it would be safe to, if I had an urge to get rid of my facial hair.

"Shut it! We're coming…" Rick yelled back, much to my displeasure. Rick was constantly getting on my nerves, and if he didn't stop soon there would be intentional friendly fire.

"Excuse me for wanting to get out of here!" I snapped, standing up rather quickly, gripping the handle of my weapon tightly. Rick seemed unfazed, only stopping to glare at me while gripping a shotgun.

"Fuck off, I'm sick of you breathing down my neck!" He growled, pointing it at me.

"Well you're the only fucking one who I need to watch closely!" I growled back. "You always lag behind, and everyone's sick of your bullshit!" At this point, the other two were up and watching our newest conflict with mild curiosity.

"Ladies! Let's just get moving…" The only actual woman of the group said, stepping in between us, knowing nobody in our tossed together group would deliberately hurt her. Alexis sighed, shoved my scoped AK-47 into my chest, and glared at us before pulling the iron bar from the door and kicking it open, bringing the butt of her SCAR-H to her shoulder. I rolled my eyes and rolled my sword in my hands, ready to slice up a bunch of zombies. My machine gun went on a strap across my chest.

**[Several Hours Later]**

"There's the next Saferoom!" I shouted, pointing at a steel door that was coated in both red paint and blood. The others groaned out in relief, due to having to run for several miles, only stopping for a few minutes to drink water, try and avoid hordes, and rescue one of the others from a Special Infected and/or 'rescue closet'. The other three piled in as I stood outside, choosing to aim down the scope on my AK-47, watching the streets carefully for one of the two Infected I feared greatly; the Tank.

'I know you're out there, you bastard...' I thought, cracking my neck slightly. Alex walked out next to me, shutting the door behind him silently.

"Tank's still out there, correct?" He whispered, watching the street with a wary eye, going over each window and door. His hunting rifle was tightly gripped in hand, but pointed downward.

"Yea, just don't know where it is exactly. Go inside, I'll be there in about five minutes or so." I whispered back, looking at him. Alex nodded and quietly shut the door behind him, leaving me alone once again.

'Alright, time to go back in, I guess. Tank must've wandered off...' I thought, turning around to go inside. Right before I was able to open it, one of the last things I felt was a very large object smash into my back, breaking my spine. I coughed up blood as I was forced against the iron door, which was still in the door frame, by a car. That the bloody Tank bitch slapped into me. And it's alarm started going off. In the distance, a Horde screeched their displeasure.

Behind me, I was able to hear the others' frantic shouting, and the door was opened, allowing me to drop backwards.

"Well...-cough- Fuck me..." I managed to gurgle out, the light fading from my eyes as blackness consumed me for the last time.

* * *

_'...This had BETTER be Heaven...'_ I thought, slowly getting to my feet, looking around what appeared to be the edge of a small village at night. 'Because it doesn't fucking look like it...' I frowned, expecting clouds and no hunger; my stomach was growling like I hadn't just died.

"Alright, equipment check..." I muttered, patting myself down. It was quick, considering that I only had my clothes (covered in blood and Hunter gashes on the front, some leftover boomer puke on the back with several tears from a Smoker's claws), katana with sheath strapped to my back, two packs of cigarettes with a full lighter, and a first-aid kit strapped to the side of my knee. Looking around, there was an adrenaline shot and a pistol round on the ground. I pocketed the both of them and looked some more. There was nothing else.

_'Well, my katana is better than nothing and a bullet is useless without a pistol to go with it…'_ I thought, rolling my eyes, before wincing as a pain erupted in my chest. _'How did I not notice the fucking gash?'_

"Shit!" I coughed up a little blood, adding to the collection of stains on my shirt. I grimaced when I felt my stomach and my hand instantly got sticky from my blood. I stumbled around, trying to find some emergency shelter in the outskirts of the village, hoping that there wasn't an Infected for miles so that I could rest soundly for a night.

The nearest place that I saw was what looked like a giant bush with windows and a door. It wasn't until later that I questioned the structure, at this point I felt as if I was about to pass out at any second, so I quickly shouldered my way through the door, hit the ground, and was barely able to kick the door shut before passing out.

**Author's Note: Review and tell me how I did!**

_'Something about potato salad should go here.' Stephan when we burned a bonfire in the yard._


	2. What the Fuck?

_Chapter 2: What the Fuck?_

**Reviews:**

**bubbabighands: Who the fuck is Zoe and why should I?**

**UnderCoverismyname: I got the idea from Name's Ellis over on FimFiction, but this entirely my story.**

**RenaTamer: I'm so sorry! I didn't know :P**

**LexiconHuka: If I recall right, twenty seven or so.**

I woke up an unknown amount of time later into a world of pain. I groaned and opened my eyes, used to this kind of pain. Having fallen down several stories with a hunched over infected steering you around, acid puddles, fists the size of a door smashing into you, and several other ways the infected use to kill you will do that to ya.

And don't forget; accidental friendly fire from your teammates. Alex never had the best aim out of us, that went to Alexis. Or me with a scope.

"Hell... Feels like the first time I ran across a witch..." I groaned, before coughing up some sort of liquid. I heard a gasp from behind me somewhere and I sighed in relief.

_'An infected would just tear my chest open and eat me...'_ I thought, feeling said body part. It was wrapped up in bandages, which made it known that there were survivors in the village or it was one of _those_ infected. The ones that bring a survivor to a locked room and make them live again for some reason. **(Author's Note: Oh come on. You all have various guesses as to why the survivors end up in those closets!)**

"Oh my... Are you alright?" A soft voice asked from behind me. I chuckled weakly, slowly sitting up with a groan.

"I've... Had a lot worse..." I said, looking down at my body. From what I felt on the ground, my katana was removed from my body, but I could care less at the moment. My medkit was still closed and full, and I could feel the shot and bullet in my pocket. Seems that the kind soul decided to use their own medical supplies for my wounds.

"Who are you?" The voice asked as I heard some wings flap, and felt a soft wind beating against my head.

_'She has a bird?'_ I thought, before wincing some more as my chest was still laced with pain.

"My name's Anonymous." I answered, rubbing my back a little. "And thanks for wrapping me up. I'm honestly surprised I'm up and moving around." I added, pulling out my stuff to look over.

"You had some bad gashes... Do you know what caused them?" She asked, confusing me a little.

'Maybe the infection hasn't hit here yet. I'm probably on an island, but how the fuck would I be here? By all rights, my broken body should be burned by now.' I thought, rubbing my chin before answering.

"Could you describe the width for me? There's a few things that could have done it." I asked.

"Roughly three inches across, and five inches deep." She answered. I frowned, but nodded.

"A witch somehow got to me." I answered.

"What's a witch?" She asked as I felt something soft rubbing my back.

"Haven't you heard of the infection?" After a moment of silence, I sighed. "A witch is a woman about your size with really sha..." As I was explaining, I happened to look at her.

Instead of a woman, or a girl in her late teens, there was a winged horse floating behind me, looking confused.

Now, I've seem some shit in my day, but a butter yellow horse with _wings_ and a pink mane broke the wierd-as-fuck meter, surpassing a Jockey that was drinking what appeared to be fifty cups of espresso.

And I'll also admit, I probably screamed like a little girl and flung myself away as fast as I could.

She screamed in response as I managed to locate and grasp my katana, shakingly holding it in front of me in a pathetic manner. I was still weak, so give me a break.

"Stay back!" I managed to let out. The pegasus didn't need further prompting, bolting into an adjacent room. Still shaking, I collected my stuff (as meager as they were), and quickly exited the house, katana at the ready.

"Now... Where am I, goddammit?" I muttered, no longer caring about defiling His name. Bastard left us to rot when the infection started. "Probably in some sort of fucked up afterlife, since there was that pegasus..."

"Well, if this is the afterlife, why in the hell do I hurt so badly?" I questioned myself. The only things I could come up with were that I was transported to a different dimension/reality/world, or that I did die, and this was in fact some sort of afterlife.

I was leaning towards option A, myself.

"Wait... What the hell?" I muttered as I saw a wooden butt sticking out of a clump of long grass. Not an actual ass, but the butt of a rifle. Wrapping my fingers around it after getting to my knees, I dragged out my scoped AK-47. The taped up 'dual' mags was firmly locked in, telling me that it was (hopefully) fully loaded. Looking over it, my heart fell once I realized that the lenses to the scope had cracks all over them, rendering them useless.

"Fucking dammit..." I sighed, and proceeded to strip off the scope. "Have to use the sights now..."

I was considerably worse with iron sights, but I'll have to make due.

"Right... Other than the scope, the AK's in good condition. No signs of jamming, tampering, or broken internal parts." I deducted from my brief examination of my rifle, knowing exactly what it should look and sound like when shaken. There wasn't anything loose, so I chambered a round and flicked the safety on, not entirely sure if there were infected around.

Judging by the smell of flowers and a calm spring day with no reek of blood, death, and decay, I decided to keep my guard up but not in a paranoid fashion.

_'That... is one fucking weird ass town.'_ I thought, staring at the town sprawled out in front of me. Glancing at a nearby sign, I couldn't help but sigh in defeat.

WELCOME TO PONYVILLE  
POPULATION: 400

"Oh, sweet Jesus in Heaven..." I groaned, realizing that I was, in fact, in some sort of fucked up reality. Totally different than my own, except for the fact that they speak and write in English.

Other than that, I'm pretty sure the similarities were thrown out the window.

"Well... Let's get going... Tackle whatever's thrown at me as soon as possible." I muttered, starting down the path with my machine gun gripped loosely, but ready to fire at a moment's notice.

_'To fear is to be human. If you're not afraid, you're lying and are a bad person.' Bubba on the subject of being human. (Yes, I have a friend named Bubba.)_


	3. Town and More Fuckin' Ponies

_Chapter 3: Town and More Fuckin' Ponies_

**Reviews:**

**LexiconHuka: Pretty much. I play a game or watch a movie/TV show and think; 'what if pone?' Boom, I get inspiration. 'Twas what made the Fallout one.**

As I neared the cartoonish town, I noticed two things right off the bat; there weren't any Infected, and technicolor ponies were everywhere. Sure, the sign said 400, but to my eyes it looked to be about five hundred or more, at least.

I couldn't tell how they would react, as they haven't really noticed me yet, so I just steeled myself and sighed.

"Come on, Anonymous!" I slapped my cheek lightly. "You've faced down a Tank without flinching. Having a group of people behind you doesn't matter, because whether you like it or not, you're in this until you can get to New Orleans." Fun fact, with my somewhat Southern accent, it sounded like I said 'Naw Orlans'.

"Okay..." I breathed after a moment, painfully rolling my shoulders. "Let's get this over with. And remember not to do that again." With a small grunt from the minor lacerations on my legs (I just noticed them. Thankfully, they've scabbed over already.) flaring up, I decended down the hill that overlooked the town and hit the outskirts at a light jog.

When I stepped onto what looked like the main street, I found that the inhabitants had simply vanished into thin air.

"Oh, shit..." I muttered, instantly bringing my rifle's butt to my shoulder, flicked the safety off, and went into a crouch before continuing forward. When I heard a door slam, I whirled towards it, finger twitching against the trigger, but there weren't hoards of Infected to greet me. Instead, two large ass eyes with light green irises started back, making me feel uneasy. As soon as the owner saw that I noticed them, they ducked out of sight.

"Creepy as hell..." I muttered. The pony, if I'm guessing correctly, reminded me a lot of the Healer Infected. It wasn't the _best_ name for the sumbitches, but nobody else in the group came up with a better name. I kept walking, taking out my dual magazine to check the bullet contents again, paranoia striking like a knife to the back.

As I walked through the town, I sometimes stumbled across a pony who was standing in the doorway, but as soon as they saw me, they scurried into the nearest building, slamming the door shut.

"Is it some sort of odd ass holiday?" I questioned nobody in particular, but knew the real answer in an instant; the ponies were afraid of me. Probably because the front of my shirt was soaked in blood and covered in gashes that were restitched half-assedly. Or the fact that I looked to be about a yard above their heads and holding a rifle. Though I bet they didn't know what I was carrying, but I bet they knew that it was a weapon just by the way I was holding it.

I went down several more blocks before peeking around the corner of a building and looking into a marketplace, which was surprisingly still active. Though, there were only a few brave souls still outside, buying their crap nervously from even more nervous merchants. Of all the Technicolor ponies that stood out, there was one that was like a flare in a dark cave (trust me, I know how stupid doing that is during a zombie apocalypse); a purple unicorn with wings strapped to its back. There was also a giant purple and green lizard sitting on her back.

"What in the hell is that species?" I muttered to myself, wishing that my scope didn't crack. I could've used it right now to observe that pony. The lot of them, really. Would be good to figure out what the hell they were using for money, because I saw a mixture of capitalism and bartering going on for the economy, along with whatever pegasi usually getting shit for free.

"Hm. What do the pegasi do to get the ability of free stuff?" I muttered, edging around the corner and sitting down to watch them some more, AK in lap. As I watched, I idly started doing weapon maintence on it to help ease my twitching. Didn't want to accidentally shoot one of them because they looked in my direction, so it was best to have the rifle in several pieces.

About half an hour later, I was dozing off when I noticed a cloud suspiciously edging closer to me. Frowning, I pulled my scope out of a cargo pocket in my pants and looked through it. The crack made it harder to see, but I ignored it and focused in on the cloud. What I saw was a little surprising; a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane was glaring down at me, but made no move to attack.

"Just when I've seen it all..." I muttered, scowling a little. "The damn pegasi can manipulate clouds judging by what that one's doing..." I shot the cyan pony the bird and continued watching the marketplace, which was becoming a little busier. The unknown purple pony apparently finished getting groceries and supplies, and was currently walking my way. Sighing, I slowly got to my feet, back flaring in pain, and slung my rifle over my shoulder and katana sheathed at my side.

"...Don't know why everypony's staying inside. It's a rather nice day out." The winged unicorn said, identifying the pony as a female. In all honesty, I was a little surprised that she didn't notice me, but the lizard did.

"M-M-Maybe b-because of that." It stuttered, pointing a purple claw at me.

"Now come on, don't be rude." I scolded, lightly leaning against the wall as the mare turned and stared at me in shock. "It's not like I'm going to turn into a zombie and eat you."

God, I hope I wouldn't. I was immune to the virus, but if I _did_ bite somebody then they'd get infected. I don't want to see how the virus will infect these creatures, but from the look of all the dead animals, it won't be pretty.

_"I have not! Come this far! To die now!" -Anonymous empathizing each word with a slice of his katana against a hoard._


	4. Explanations and Hospitals

_Chapter 4: Explanations And a Trip to the Hospital_

**Reviews:**

**ponylover: Something like that.**

**LexiconHuka: Just like the barrels.**

** : Nope, but somewhat same mindset as him. I'd put Rick as more Nickish than Anon.**

**RenaTamer:**  
**Ellis: That's mah official instructins.**

**sancrumx: They have stuff like this over on FimFiction.**

**Lyra515: Depends on what you mean.**

**Author's Note: I'ma try to get more chapters as long as this, but no promises.**

"W-What are you?" The purple winged unicorn asked, backing away a little. I frowned a little and mock inspected my fingernails.

"You're hurtin' my feelings, asking me questions like that!" I exclaimed, before looking at her. "Let's just say that I'm a survivor and leave it at that. More simple than having to explain what my race is."

"O...kay..." She finally said, frowning a little. "Who are you?"

"Name's Anonymous. And you?" I answered, slipping my AK over my shoulder.

"I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle." She said with an air of nervousness.

_'She probably doesn't like her title.'_ I thought, rubbing my chin as I looked around.

"Any idea why the... ponies... are staying inside?" I asked calmly, leaning against the wall as I fingered the adrenaline shot in my pocket. "It's a nice day, after all."

"It's because of you!" The lizard blurted out before clamping his mouth shut, Twilight looking at him with a poorly hidden glare.

"Eh, thought as much." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. "You don't seem very afraid of me, though." I added with a small nod towards Twilight.

"It's not acceptable for a Princess to overreact." She answered, but it sounded like she was simply reciting what she said out of a book.

"Sounds like you don't really agree with that." I muttered, before pushing myself off of the wall with a grunt. "Know where I could get some medical help?"

"Why?" She asked in confusion. In response, I lifted up my shirt to let her see my bloodied bandages.

"I'm in need of some stitches." I said in way of reply. "My lacerations are too big to simply heal by themselves." I added after a moment. Twilight stood in shock for a moment, before nodding.

"Follow me." She said while turning around. I let down my shirt and followed. "So, your name is Anonymous? What does it mean?" She asked as I limped slightly, walking next to her.

"It means that my parents had no originality."I grunted, rubbing my chest a little. "If we're insulting each other's names, I could point out that your name is very similar to a cheesy as all hell vampire series back home." Her ears pressed against her skull.

"I didn't mean it as an insult..." She muttered, causing me to laugh a little (and then let out a hiss from the pain).

"And I didn't take it as one." I said. "I merely said what I did in jest."

"Oh." She said, laughing a little, but started looking curious. "What did you mean by 'cheesy vampire series'?"

"There's this entire series of books that's called 'Twilight'. The vampires in it sparkle when exposed to sunlight." I answered. "Vampires are supposed to ignite, not look like a five year old ran 'em over with a bedazzler." I happened to look up to see that the cloud was still following me.

"Happen to know that pegasus up there?" I asked, pointing up at the cloud with a finger. Twilight looked up for a moment.

"That's Rainbow Dash, a close friend of mine." She answered, and I resisted the urge to facepalm.

_'Puns. Puns everywhere! I swear to god if this town is named after something equine...'_ I thought.

"So, where are we?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Ponyville, in the kingdom of Equestria." She answered.

_'Goddammit.'_ I give up. Just fuck it.

"What's wrong?" She asked, looking at me in confusion.

"Nothing..." I sighed, before looking over my scope. "Do you have somebody who works with lenses around here?" I asked, looking at her.

"We have a telescope maker, if that's what you're asking." She answered, eyeing my scope with interest.

"Close enough." I muttered, pocketing it and cracking my knuckles. She flinched a little, but continued leading me towards a hospital that eerily reminded me of one that my group had to fight through to get what meager medical supplies we could find. I think she noticed my hesitation.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, walking inside with my trigger finger subtly twitching behind her.

"Maybe he's scared of doctors?" The lizard suggested.

"Something like that." I muttered, remembering how I used to have two female survivors in my group until the unlucky son of a bitch had her throat bitten out right in front of us. That same run ended up with me plowing through three examination rooms after being slugged by a Tank.

I was surprised I only got away with a few bruised ribs and a twisted ankle; I'm still thanking whoever invented dry wall.

"Well the doctors and nurses here won't hurt you." Twilight said in an attempt to calm me down.

"I know." I sighed. "Just a past experience."

"Would you care to talk about it?" She offered with a smile. I shot down her offer and cracked my neck, before going up to the front desk. The nurse seemed nervous when she saw me, but weakly smiled anyway.

"Hello, how may we help you?" She asked a little nervously, but kept a cool facade going on. Props to her for staying calm.

"I'm in need of some stitches." I answered, pulling my shirt up to show my bloodied bandages. She nodded and rang a bell, causing another nurse to lead me, Twilight, and the lizard to an empty room.

"I'm Nurse Redheart." The nurse introduced. "What seems to be the problem?"

"He needs stitches." Sparklebutt answered for me as I took off my shirt and bandages. Redheart flinched a little when she saw the size of my wounds, but nodded to herself and gathered some supplies.

"Do you want morphine to dull the pain?" She asked, probably ready to stab me with her needles.

"Nah." I dismissed. "I've gone through worse than getting sewed back together. Try running through an acid puddle and have to continue walking." She blanched slightly, but nodded and got a sewing needle and medical thread.

"What did you mean by 'run through an acid puddle'?" The lizard asked while Redheart got to work on my back.

"I had to once." I answered, kicking off a shoe and pulling a sock off to show my foot and lower leg completely encased in acid scars. All three of them recoiled in shock and disgust, but thankfully Redheart didn't pull anymore skin out of me.

"What made you do such a thing?" Twilight asked while Redheart resumed stitching me up.

"I had to get to safety, and this thing called a 'Spitter' put the acid between me and the steel door I was running towards. I didn't have the time to wait for it to disappear, so I just ran on through and took the pain." I explained. "In all honesty, compared to some of the things I've been injured by, that was pretty tame."

"What was the worst creature?" Lizard asked.

"Before I answer, could I get your name?" I asked, wincing a little as Redheart finished with my back and made me lean back to get to my chest wound.

"My name's Spike!" He declared, causing me to nod.

"Well, Spike, the worst by far is the stuff that's in the water." I answered, scratching my head. "Nobody even knows what's in it, only that if you have to swim across you should find another way because you're not coming back out." Which was completely true. The one time we dared to go across a river was when we were traveling with another group. They made it about a third of the way across before getting _dragged under_ the water. After that, we didn't even consider using rowboats or rafts, only boats that moved faster than we could row or ones that kept us at least five feet above the water.

"That sound's horrible..." Redheart muttered.

"It was." I said. If you went into the water, you were dead. No respawns by Healers, no getting shocked by a defibulator, just permanent death.

I kept answering their questions, only steering the conversation away from what I personally had to go through, what I was, and what exactly I was attempting to survive. I also avoided questions about the United States, other than just giving them the name and ignoring any questions that would make me go deeper about the States.

Redheart had a few medical questions, and I gave them some knowledge about the medical industry.

When I was cleared to leave, I had promised to come back at a later time to discuss more medical crap with Redheart.

"So, where do you want to go now?" Twilight asked as we stepped into the bright sunlight, telling me that I spent a good three hours in the hospital.

"Gonna go get my scope fixed." I said, flipping said weapon modification and catching it.

"What is a scope, exactly?" Spike asked as Twilight led me somewhere.

"Think of it as a miniature telescope." I said, pourposely being vauge.

"Like a spyglass?" He asked, tilting his head. It took me a moment to remember what a spyglass was.

"Somewhat. The best scope can spot something at over a mile away with the right settings, and at night. Or you can use others to see through buildings to find living beings through their heat signatures." I explained. "This one can zoom in to ten times what you see with it at x1."

I was going to explain more, but we had arrived at our destination. The building had a sign with a telescope painted on it over the door, showing whoever passed by what it was.

I sighed, and walked in, still wincing a little from my scabbed over leg.

_"It's a spitter dude!" Ellis upon spotting a Spitter._


	5. A Place to Stay

_Chapter 5: A Place to Stay_

**Reviews:**

**just a girl: Nope. Completely gay.**

**sancrumx: Yes.**

**LexiconHuka:**  
**Anonymous: Hope to god they have meat...**

**Lyra515:**  
**Anonymous: Have you seen how big those puddles are? Better to run through than to jump halfway through it and get acid all over you.**

"That went rather well..." I muttered as we sat on a park bench. I was currently attaching my newly repaired scope to my AK-47, much to the curiosity of Sparklebutt.

"What is that, anyway?" Sparkle asked, pointing a hoof at my firearm.

"It's called an AK-47." I answered. "Not the most accurate of firearms, but one of the most rugged."

"What's a firearm?" She innocently asked.

_'Right. Hooves.'_ I almost let a facepalm through, but I held it in for a later time.

"A firearm is any weapon that fires metal at a sub-sonic speed using the chemical reaction of gunpowder." I explained. "Some can get the metal, which are bullets, to hit a target at over a mile with the right adjustments." Sparkle looked very disturbed at what I just said.

"So your 'AK-47' is just like a cannon?" Spike asked, poking it with a claw. I quickly made sure he didn't scratch the barrel, dude's claws looked sharp as hell.

"A handheld cannon that fires rapidly." I answered.

"How far along is your race in technology?" Sparkle asked as I finished inspecting my AK, subtly changing the subject.

"Depends on what you're asking about." I answered. "In military, we can make a country barren with the push of a button." She paled. "With medical, we have ways of bringing people back to life when they've been dead for a few minutes." I know I've needed that a few times, much to my dissatisfaction. "Hell, we've been to the moon a lot of times already just by using a couple of rockets."

She perked up on that last one. "You've really been to the moon?!"

"Well, not_ me_." I answered with a chuckle. "Several people who had to undergo a lot of training did."

"How safe was it?" She asked as we got up. I didn't know where she was taking me, since I was simply following her.

"The training? Harmless." I answered. "The way up was a lot more dangerous, though."

"How so?" Spike asked, turning around on Sparklebutt's back so he could watch me.

"Accidents on the launch platform resulting in the rockets 'splodin'." I started, holding out fingers. "Accidents involving the fuel tanks, also resulting in the rockets exploding. Depressurization in the shuttle once in orbit, resulting in almost instant death to the astronauts, but that hasn't happened yet, I think. Tears in the space suit while outside the shuttle, also resulting in almost instant death." Sparks was paling with each reason, and so was Spike.

"Hell, I think the worst one to date was one of the Apollo shuttles, if I remember correctly." I said after a moment. "A substance called velcro was accidentally ignited, leading to compressed oxygen in the cabin igniting, which pretty much cooked the entire crew of three alive before they could get out."

They all winced at that.

"That right there almost killed the drive to complete the mission." I sighed. "Fortunately, they didn't stop, since the astronauts knew the risks. In 1969, Apollo 13's shuttle launched and started orbiting the moon. Man named Neil Armstrong landed on a craft with one other and Neil took 'one small step for man, one giant step for mankind.'" I added. "Right after he did that, dude planted a flag on the moon and went back inside to get some tea or something."

I had the strangest feeling a dark blue pony like Twilight just chuckled nervously for some reason...

Anyway, we soon happened upon a large tree with a open book sketched onto a sign, signifying that this was either a bookshop or a library. A red and black stallion (I think) stood guard outside the door, blinking when he saw me.

"It's alright, Commander Dawn." Twilight said, but frowned when the dude circled around me anyway, poking me gently with his spear.

"Seem shorter than I thought you'd be..." I caught the dude mutter, causing me to narrow my eyes a little. "My name's Commander Red Dawn, leader of the Royal Guard." He said in a louder voice.

"And you're just standing outside a door all willy nilly?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as I leaned against the bark of the tree.

"No offence to Twilight, but it's a boring job. But I would still rather be here than pushing paper for eight hours a day." He said with a grin.

"Thought you were a princess?" I asked Sparky.

"I am; Red Dawn's just an old friend." She answered. "I honestly don't mind it."

"Liking this place already..." I muttered, shaking my head. "I take it that I'm going to be bunking with you for a while?"

"Until I can negotiate with the Mayor to get you perminent residence, yes." She answered.

"I need to tell you something..." Dawn said, before muttering into the purple pony's ear. She promptly sighed, her ears pressing against her head in what would seem as aggrevation.

"Well, I kinda need a nap... So..." I trailed off, before opening the door, ignoring her protests.

And then there was an explosion.

_"I was just sitting there, eating, when this 7.62mm beaut comes slamming into my right asscheek! No warning or anything; just got shot in the ass by an AK-47! Never found the bastard, even though I was on base when it happened." Something that happened to Mark._


End file.
